I happened upon a comedy sketch about cable hoarders the other day. It was hysterical and most definitely targeted at men, but I have to admit I felt a nerve twitch as I watched it.
I have my own cable box tucked away neatly in a corner of an IKEA Kallax shelving unit…..another thing we seemingly all have!
Facing a grey, damp autumnal day with little incentive to go outside, I decided today was the day to open the cable box and do a clear out. This box has the staying power of a cockroach. It has survived multiple moves and big clear outs and once I opened it and started sorting the cables I realized why. I seem to have an irrational fear of throwing away a cable whose connector is so damned obscure that its mate has probably been sitting on a waste tip since the early 80s!
I am even more paralyzed when faced with my very first Apple products, which may never be used again, but will always have a place in my heart, because of their timeless aesthetics and the sheer joy they brought me when I held them in my hands for the first time. The same can be said of Apple packaging. I am embarrassed to admit that I have a dedicated storage space for old Apple boxes, just in case…..and that my dear, is all the excuse that I need!
I was reluctantly considering throwing away a Red edition 2nd Generation iPod Shuffle, when I found its funny little charging station. I decided to charge it up. Delighted to see that charging technology hasn’t changed that much in the last 20 years, I plugged in the USB cable and saw the iPod’s little light flicker on and flash its first signs of life. My own little Wall-E came to life again in my hands.
It took me as long to detangle tens of yellowed, wired headphones as it did to charge the little Shuffle. I finally found a few functional headphones, chose the whitest and least frayed ones and fired up my wee iPod which contained my favorite playlist of the 90s.
Oh – my – God!!! I can’t even name some of the songs or the artists without Googling, but music seems to have a passkey to some of the most intimate memories of my past. These beautiful songs, many of which I haven’t heard for years, took me back in an instant to my life nearly 20 years ago. Like reading an old journal I can immediately tap into how I was feeling back then…..all of the yearnings, joys, sorrows, frustrations and complexities of my life. It would have been 2006 or 2007, I was a mother of young children and I know that I had just started running regularly and playing tennis again.
I found myself sitting in tears. My little Shuffle reminded me that I was yearning for something else back then. I was overwhelmed with trying to be a successful mother, wife and employee all at once, whilst feeling that I was doing none of it well. I was drowning in unfulfilled needs for joy, self-love, peace and freedom. The sadness is maybe because it took me 12 years to act on my yearnings and take the first of many transformative steps to live the life that I longed for, but I am also crying because of I am full of gratitude and joy; gratitude for the simple, but beautiful life that I have created and for this very moment right now, surrounded by beautiful souls.
As I think back to Georgina version 2006, I would sing to her one of my favourite songs on that old playlist “Light up, light up as if you have a choice….even if you cannot hear my voice, I’ll be right beside you dear.”
